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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist Kay EskewFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
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Newest Deviations

Spookily Ever After by circusdreamsandmagic Spookily Ever After :iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic 1 0 Bowler Hat Guy Inspiration by circusdreamsandmagic Bowler Hat Guy Inspiration :iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic 1 0 Pin Up Sally by circusdreamsandmagic Pin Up Sally :iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic 1 0 Light up the Sky, Princess by circusdreamsandmagic Light up the Sky, Princess :iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic 1 7 Brave and True - Pocahontas by circusdreamsandmagic Brave and True - Pocahontas :iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic 0 0
Literature
Lost in Wonderland but Found Myself
  ((Haven’t you heard what becomes of curious minds
  Ooh didn’t it all seem new and exciting
  I felt your arms twisting around me /
  Oh darling, we found wonderland
  You and I got lost in it
  And we pretended it could last forever~))
I’ve allowed myself to fall down the rabbit hole, into a lovely little distraction,
To bask in the attention and affection of someone who’s available to me
In a way that I know you’re just not capable of right now, and I know that
It’s a short-term, dangerous game, and I’m worried it’s going to all come
Crashing down on me soon, very soon, but oh how nice it’s been right now.
Sweet words and dirty words, gentle touches, kindness and attentiveness,
Oh how I’ve relished the constant need, the constant attention, the passion,
The lavishing of desire, of his time and affection, the way he spoils me with it,
It’s enough to turn anyone’s mind for a while, a
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic 1 4
Magical Christmas - Blue and Silver! by circusdreamsandmagic Magical Christmas - Blue and Silver! :iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic 0 0
Literature
don't fail me now...
Oh, what wouldn’t i give for romance, sure and sweet and pure.
What wouldn’t I give for smiles shining with happiness and
Eyes so full of love that they make me catch my breath in joy.
For the warmth of being wrapped in the arms of my most dear,
The comfort of falling asleep beside someone who loves me.
I have a heart full of love to give, arms that long to hold you close,
There are so many sweet, quiet little moments I dream of sharing
With someone who loves me true, someone worth the waiting.
What will it take, I wonder, to find someone that will love me....
I have given my all, my everything, to those who proved unworthy,
Spent years and a million tears on those who loved themselves
More than they ever could have loved me, who were so damaged
That they tried to tear me apart at the seems just to have company
In the wretched misery, and then spewed hate when I finally ran away.
When I think about all the dedication and love I poured out for such
Awful creatures, bent on b
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic 1 5
Literature
Am I really so naive?
It’s nights like these, in the quiet late hours, all alone with my thoughts,
After a good day with my most important people, celebrating life, living,
That I really begin to wonder if there will ever be a future for us, my love.
It seems you’re falling down another spiral, drifting ever further away
And there is nothing I can do to call you back to the side of the light...
I would give anything to see your smiling face, hear your laughter ring out,
But instead you seem to be giving in to the darkness, the pain and anger,
Falling into despair and riding the waves of heartbreak a little more each day
While I stand on the shore, waving frantically from the beach, trying so hard
To get your attention, to assure you that there is still something worth saving.
But it’s wearing on me, darling; it is becoming a burden, constantly trying to
Be strong, to reassure you, to send positive thoughts even as I worry myself
Into sickness from not hearing from you, from nothing but bad
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic 0 9
Literature
Just another late night thinking of you
It is in these late moments, these late hours of the night,
Or early morning, if you rather, that thoughts of you haunt me
As I long endlessly to hear your voice, to see your smile
The way it reaches your eyes and lights up your face.
I reminisce again and again about the possibility of a future
Together, you and i, and what that would look like in reality
And wonder repeatedly about all the little things I long to know
Like your favorite color, how you take your coffee, your cake.
I want to know every little detail about you, your favorite things,
Where you grew up, all about your family, and so much more,
I wish to sit for hours beside you and learn everything there is
To know about you; the sweetest, strongest person I’ve ever met.
And I want to answer your every question, your every curiosity
About myself in just the same way; in patient, quiet moments
Just the two of us, talking for hours on end, learning and loving
And falling all the more for what is the same, and what is
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic 1 0
Christmas 2015 - Jack Frost and Elsa by circusdreamsandmagic Christmas 2015 - Jack Frost and Elsa :iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic 4 4 Christmas 2015 - Nani and David by circusdreamsandmagic Christmas 2015 - Nani and David :iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic 1 0
Literature
If we're being HONEST
it’s hard not to let every little thing in my life remind me of you
at this stage in my head-over-heels state of mind, my love
and it’s hard not to want to share every good thing with you
to wish you were here with me at every fun event and moment.
there was an article earlier today entitled The Absolute Tragedy
Of Meeting The Love Of Your Life At The Wrong Time, and well,
As you can imagine, it made me think of you and you alone,
Of all the feelings I have, the fight in my head and heart each day.
because as much as I try to deny it, to distract myself at times,
to pretend that i’m not in too deep, we both know that’s a lie
It’s too late for me to turn back now, and a connection like this
Comes along but once, maybe twice, in each lifetime, if at all.
how can i pretend that i’m not aware, how can i continue to delude
myself with the idea that someone else could ever be good enough
to replace you, to distract me, to fill the place i imagine you in in
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic 6 0
Literature
Anything, Anything
Is there anything that I can actually do to help you,
To heal your wounds and stitch you back together
Is there anything you will allow me to try, my love
That I might glue the pieces of your heart into place?
Is there anything that I am able to do that you’ll let me
To bring a bit of sunshine into your life someday
Is there anything that you will let me do to show you
How much I care and what I would give to love you?
Is there anything in this whole wide world I can do
To convince you to let me within those guarded walls
Is there anything that will make you will let me see inside
That I might try to put all these broken pieces together?
Is there anything that I could say that would convince you
To give me a chance to hold you close and never let go
Is there anything at all that will prove to you how I care
And push you to unlock your heart and show it to me?
Because I’m beginning to doubt that there’s anything
In this whole wide world that I could do or say, at all,
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic 1 0
Literature
If I could lock my heart away...
How can I even express...I’m not sure there are words to explain
Just how incomplete I feel at this moment, without you here.
I knew better than to get my hopes up, honestly I did, I swear,
And yet, here I am still, feeling thoroughly disappointed anyway.
I feel my heart breaking, and each small piece stabs me lightly,
Drawing just a dribble of blood, just a hint of pain at a time,
Reminding me that I should have known better, shouldn’t have
Even bothered to dream of the possibility of a happy ending.
I feel so far away from you right now, like the space between us
Has grown wide as a chasm in the span of the last 24 hours.
It’s as if, suddenly, you are putting all your walls back up again
And there’s nothing I can do to stop you, no matter how I try.
As the tears roll down my cheeks unbidden and unyielding,
I wish I knew what to do, how to get you to let me help you, love.
It is hard to enjoy fun times with friends when I know that you
Are home alone, feeling m
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic 6 7
Literature
The things I would do (if only I could)
I would love you so well, if only you would let me, my darling,
I would make every day special, and kiss away your tears
I would hold you gently at night, and chase away your fears
I would do all that I can to replace every bad memory with
Love and happiness, sunshine and smiles, adventures always.
I would love you so deeply, if only you would let me, my love,
I would text you each morning when I awake with sweet words
I would end every day with wishes for sweet dreams to you
I would take every opportunity to brighten your life in every way
And make sure that you know how much you mean to me.
I would love you so sweetly, if only you would let me, my dear,
I would remember every painful day and spend them holding you
I would listen carefully to every difficult story without judgement
I would celebrate every achievement and birthday to the fullest
And spoil you in every way, the way that you deserve, sweetheart.
I would love you so fully, if only you would let me, my dearest,
I would lea
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:circusdreamsandmagic 1 4

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Critiques

by Yamino

I think this came out really well! The colors are great, subtle and soft, with the winter theme. Poor sad Elsa :'( I think you succeeded ...

Activity


Spookily Ever After
A birthday present for a dear friend of mine, which was thoroughly delayed by laptop problems and an insane summer. She loves Nightmare Before Christmas, but Belle is her favorite princess, and she sometimes calls her boyfriend her beast, so I thought this would be a sweet little crossover <3 And it's cuter than the other way around, which I drew last year lol.
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going through the ending of a friendship, no matter how expected or inevitable, is painful. despite seeing it coming a long way off, and knowing that it’s probably the best course of action for both of us, as our mindsets and opinions are too far separated, it is still difficult to let go. a gulf stretched out between us with your hateful words, your selfish behavior, your judgement and condemnation every time we disagreed...it cut me deep, time and again. i considered severing the ties that bind us many times, and yet hesitated over and over, unwilling to let go just yet. however, it seems we’ve crossed lines this time which cannot be uncrossed. you’ve made choices i cannot support, and yet i’ve remained silent and withheld judgement as much as possible, i’ve stayed my tongue more times than i can count.

you, on the other hand, have made demands and criticized by decisions left and right. as i grew more fully into myself, as i became more and more who i was meant to be, embraced my pain and worked through it to a place of healing and self-awareness, you pushed back. as i took advantage of my change of scenery to make new friends and enjoy life to the fullest, you grew bitter and resentful of your inability to do the same, despite all the other advantages you had that i did not.

i have loved you for many years, and i shudder to think of all the memories that will be tainted as this rift tears us apart...but it comes as no surprise, honestly. our perspectives were too different, and your violent reactions to my disagreements have left many scars. your harsh words and cruel judgments have done more damage than i care to admit, and i cannot willingly participate any more.

especially not while you actively choose that pathetic excuse for a human being over me. every time you say “i won’t choose a side!” you’re really saying that my pain, my experiences, and my reality are not as important to you as refusing to acknowledge his negative traits. you allowed your desperation and his charisma to draw you into a relationship with a cruel, selfish man-child who tells strangers on the internet to kill themselves as a means of entertainment, and you chastise ME for talking badly about him. you tell ME not to speak poorly of him on MY fb page because it makes you uncomfortable....

well, my love, that is too far. I have earned every scar and every stripe on my body, and i have earned the right to talk about how i got them. i am not afraid of my scars, and i will not omit pieces of me for your comfort. if you are going to insist on continuing down this path, choosing to ignore the warnings and my reality and healing in favor of pretending that you are going to be the one who magically fixes him, then by all means...to each her own. but i will have no part of it.

i cannot in good faith sit here and pretend like i am ok with it, or condone that kind of behavior. especially when it comes with demands on my own personal path of healing, to allow you not to notice the boiling pot you’re sitting in steadily rising in temperature. when all is said and done, i hope you figure this out before its too late, and i hope you will be ok. i will miss you more than words can say.

but he is changing you, making you more selfish than you were even before, and i will not sit idly by and take this. i will not watch him destroy you, and i will not watch you fall apart when i did everything in my power to keep you from this fate. by all means, do what you think is best. some lessons must be learned the hard way, and you have as much right to that as any of us. i will not stand in your way.

but neither will i stand beside you watching you self destruct for the sake of that pathetic sack of flesh who does not deserve you, who will not appreciate you as you deserve to be appreciated, because he is too self-absorbed to ever truly love anyone. someday, when all is said and done, i hope you will find me. and i hope you will heal. but for now, this is goodbye, old friend...goodbye, and good luck. you will be missed.

but i must focus on what is good and healthy for me, and it is not you, not at this phase in your life.

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Kay Eskew
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United States
Konnichiwa! I'm Kay ^___^ I'm a 24 year old artist with a penchant for hand-made cards, disney fanart, and writing <3 I'm a fairly optimistic person, but I simply love all that dark and gothic stuff~ I work at DISNEY WORLD and love my life :) I have amazing coworkers and keep busy by playing in the parks, going shopping, and sketching Disney related doodles, these days!
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:iconlarathain:
Larathain Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2016
Happy birthday
Reply
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:
circusdreamsandmagic Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thank you very much!!
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:iconlarathain:
Larathain Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2016
you are very welcome
Reply
:icontheflawedone:
TheFlawedOne Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for joining our group.  I hope you enjoy it.  If you are intersted we have a folder for prompts and a contents.  The rule are in the journals.
Reply
:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:
circusdreamsandmagic Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thank you! i'm gonna spend a few days checking things out :)
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:iconarbasyn:
Arbasyn Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Ahhhh a fellow writer! I am honored to have made it to your watch list. :)
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:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:
circusdreamsandmagic Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hello! yes, lovely work :) i am part of depression-abyss, so i'm finding quite a few talented writers to follow. it helps keep me writing!
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:iconcyanita:
cyanita Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fave!
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:iconcircusdreamsandmagic:
circusdreamsandmagic Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
you're very welcome!
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:iconch3rryvodk4:
ch3rryvodk4 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2015
Thanks for the watch and all of the wonderful comments you left on my poetry! 
I'm definitely going to check out what you have here as soon as I have a moment to spare. 
Hope you have a wonderful day! ^^
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